I'll Love You, Forever and Ever
by taylorswiftrox
Summary: What if Hyde disappeared after that night in the hotel room? What if a chance encounter left him and Jackie rekindling that love they had when they were young?... ON HIATUS
1. Lean on Me

**Chapter Title Song: Lean On Me by Bill Withers**

_New Hyde Park, New York_

_June 15th, 1982_

_10:55 PM_

_Location: Matty's Bar and Grill_

"So, Hyde, how's the kid?" John, the main bartender at Matty's and my cousin, asked me as I entered the bar.

I smiled; talking about Amber was the one thing that kept me going. Okay, I lied. Even mentioning the word "Jackie" made me want to run back to Wisconsin. "She's good… starting to grow teeth." I took my usual seat at the left end and tucked my glasses into my shirt.

John placed a cold mug of beer in my hand. "Then where is she?"

I pushed the beer back towards him. "She's with Chrissy's friend in the city for the night. I have to pick her up later." I leaned forward as John went to clean a rack of beer mugs. "Listen, before I came here I had a whole other life with the best friends you could ever have, a room at the best house in the neighborhood…the girl of my dreams. It's not like I did nothing all day."

"You told me that and I keep asking why you left, but you never answer me. I mean, you've been lived in my apartment for almost 3 years and all I've heard is you blabbering on about Jackie. That's her name, right?"

"Yeah," I leaned back and stuck my hands in my jeans. "Jacqueline Beulah Burkhart." I laughed. "She hated her middle name, you know that? Even just mentioning her initials ticked her off."

John rolled his eyes and continued cleaning up; I forgot that it was closing time. "If you love her that much why are you here?"

"I don't love her, I can't love her! She was going to have sex with the most idiotic person in town while she was still with me. She didn't love me, so why should I love her?" I stood up, defensively.

"You stick to that. You know, there's going to come a day when you are so sick and tired of New York and me that you're going to take your kid and go back to that girl. Love can do crazy things to you." John sighed as he walked over to me and looked me in the eye. For someone that was still dating the first and only girl he had sex with, John knew a lot about love.

"I'll get sick of New York when I chose to." I lowered my voice to something less than a whisper and stared down into my hands, "But I'll never get tired of her."

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

_Jackie,_

_I'm sorry it has to end this way, but what I've just seen leaves me no choice. I know you would probably tell me otherwise, though it's hard for me to believe that you weren't going to have sex with Kelso. Maybe one day I'll come to my senses and think differently of what just happened… I can't make any promises. I'm going to start a new life for myself in New York. Red gave me the rent money he's been saving up and WB is going to help set up a job for me. I don't want you to wait around for me because the point of me leaving is to move on. I have one last gift to you- Grooves. I want you to take good care of it; I know Leo would screw it up. WB will check on you everyone once in a while, but I think you'll be able to handle it on your own, you always can. There is one promise to you I will always keep and I hope you will also: even when times are hard, I promise you that I'll love you, forever and ever…_

_Steven Hyde_

Jackie read the note twice a day, more if she was feeling lonely or sad. Today was one of those days. She flipped the note over and over in her hand until she could bare the pain she felt no more. She slipped the note into her bedside drawer, next to more of Hyde's things. The t-shirt he gave her, one of his aviator glasses, a Rolling Stones record, the picture they took on prom night. It was all there, along with the memories each item brought. The letter, at least to Jackie, represented the Hyde _she _knew. To her, Steven was kind, sweet, funny, gentle. To everyone else he was tough, carefree, laidback, Zen.

In the past three years since he'd been gone, there were plenty of times Jackie thought that maybe her friends would understand better why Hyde left if they knew the side of him only she knew. This didn't make sense to her sometimes, though. Why would them knowing the kind, sweet, funny, and gentle Hyde make him leaving more understandable? The laidback and carefree part of him should be reason enough for him to just get up and leave.

Hyde didn't just get up and leave, though. But in a way he did. For three months after he made his departure, around the time the strange Randy came into Donna's life, Jackie would lie in bed and contemplate the possible reasons why he left. A new job, visiting family, a vacation. But it was right there in front of her, even if she didn't want to believe it.

It was then, four and a half months after Hyde up and left, that Jackie decided to finally go into his room. It was different than when she had last seen it. Red's war cot was gone, the posters were stripped off the wall, and the band t-shirts that used to spill out of every nook and cranny were gone. The only thing normal about the room was boxes of Christmas decorations and memory boxes that Kitty always left in there. However, there was one thing that left evidence that Steven Hyde had actually lived in that room, and that was the letter. It was pinned to the wall right above where the cot used to be. And that was enough for Jackie. It gave her closure, but in a way it didn't. Only time, three years, in fact, would give the 2 year romance closure.

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

My decision to split from Point Place took less than a second to make. After I pummeled Kelso to the ground and took one last long look at Jackie, I was out on the highway and speeding on towards Point Place. I made it to the place I call home in an hour flat and burst through the kitchen door to find Red and Kitty still sitting at the kitchen table.

Mrs. Forman stood up when she saw me. "So, Steven, how was Jackie?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled, making my way to the basement.

"You don't want to talk about Jackie?" She seemed shocked, in some strange way.

"So what? Does it really matter?" I stopped in front of the basement steps and was about to go down when Red's voice stopped me.

"Steven, you come back here right now and answer our questions." Red's voice was firm, but unlike when his voice was usually firm, he sounded a little compassionate, like he could tell what happened between us.

"Fine," I walked over to the table and slammed down my jacket, sending Mrs. Forman flying back into her seat. "You want to know what happened? I'll tell you. Right when I was going to propose to… _that girl, _Kelso decided to show up in just a towel about to have sex with her."

"You don't know that," Red contradicted.

"You were going to propose to Jackie?" Mrs. Forman sounded even more shocked this time.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled, turning back down the hall and bounding down the stairs into my room.

In an overwhelming rush of emotions, I threw all of my clothes into a suitcase, my possessions into boxes. I loaded them, along with Red's cot, into the back of the El Camino. I don't know how I didn't cry, but I guess all the practice I had as a kid when I'd listen to my so called parents would fight helped. I was placing the last box in the flatbed when I looked up to find Red standing there, his arms crossed, his eyes a bit glazy.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

I shook my head and got into the car. "I'm 19; you can't tell me what I can and can't do."

"I'm not saying that." Red walked over to my side of the car. "I mean, where do you think you're going to go? You're mom is long gone and your real friends and family are here in Point Place."

I ignored him for a few moments, pulling out a pen and a piece from my jeans and scribbling a few words onto it. "I have a cousin in New Hyde Park. Cool, right? I'll start over again in a place with my name."

Red sighed and unveiled an envelope from his back pocket, handing it to me. "It's all the rent money you ever gave me… put it to good use."

"Thanks," I said dryly, though I couldn't have been more grateful because I hadn't thought about the financial side of everything. I put it on my seat and continued to write feverishly, but the end result was barely half a page. I gave it to Red when I was done. "Hang it up in my room," I instructed. "Let Jackie find it on her own."

Red smiled and, with a nod, shut the car door. Softly, but loud enough for me to hear, he told me, "We'll always be here when you come home."


	2. Wishing You Were Here

**Chapter Title Song: Wishing You Were Here by Chicago**

I don't know how I managed to get to New York in one piece. I hardly remember making a few stops for food, but I can't remember much of anything else. I had called my cousin after leaving Jackie to confirm my plans to stay with him and somehow, by the small scrap of paper with his address on it, my hopes, and a few gas station maps, I arrived at his doorstep like a little orphan once more.

And let's make one thing clear: New York is _way _different than Wisconsin.

It's like another Dorothy leaving Kansas moment, I guess. But let's get real; Wisconsin doesn't have 100 story skyscrapers or a homeless person on every street corner. Wisconsin does have Jackie, though, which is something no city, state, country, continent, or whatever the hell Australia is will have.

Damn, why does _she_ always have to ruin everything?

It's entirely her fault and I refuse to let myself believe otherwise. We were still together and with her sixth sense (being able to smell a wedding proposal a mile away), she should have known I was coming for her. She should have known years before that all Kelso wanted was sex. But Jackie was always like that, she always wanted to believe in the power of love. So maybe, just maybe, we have a chance. But the odds have only been in my favor once and that is when I started my relationship with Jackie, so who knows what will happen.

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

For what seemed like years, but in retrospect was only months, I cried every single night. I cried so much I barely noticed that Michael had left. So much I didn't care that Donna was dating someone other than Eric. So much I didn't realize I was living with Fez. So much I didn't mind the fact I was slowly falling in love with him. So much I didn't burst into a mixture of laughter and happiness like I would have when I found out Donna and Eric were back together.

I cried so much that when I finally came to, during a mid-make out session with Fez on New Year's Eve, I cried even more because I realized what I was doing.

We broke up quickly, of course. Right after midnight, in fact. Fez took it well, he could see how much I really cared about Steven, and after our short stint together he never tried to make a pass at me again, even though I still lived with him.

I never dated anyone else after Fez because in my heart I knew Steven would always be the one for me. I never tried to find Steven either, and I have no idea why I didn't even ask. Something told me I had to stay single for him, that there was always a possibility he could come back. There's a possibility that anything will happen, though, including Steven starting a new relationship with someone. It's something I've only let myself get upset over once and I'm not about to start now.

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

After arriving in New York, settling in at my cousin John's, and getting a job at the bar he works at, I wasn't really looking for a new relationship. In a way, I was hoping that maybe Jackie would do the same. But if you looked Jacqueline Burkhart up in the decade, hell, just knowing her, you would be able to now that she can't live without a guy in her life. We all have gotten used to the drill over the years. The day she turned fourteen and her parents finally allowed her to date, she jumped onto the Kelso train. And when that backfired she made me go on a date with her, got back together with the ditz, cheated on him with a cheese dude, and then jumped back to me.

I'm not complaining. Even though I don't admit it, Jackie was the best thing that ever happened to me. That is, until Amber was born, but even then, Jackie was still incredibly important to me. Who is Amber, you might ask. You probably have your suspicions at this point, but I'm going to give you the long version of how she came to be. And, no, I won't be giving you _those _details.

It was on New Year's Eve, just 5 minutes until the start of the '80s. In my mind, I could imagine all of my friends at home, joining together for one last circle before the '80s. It occurred to me then that I hadn't smoked anything since I arrived in New York and I didn't really care. It was the busiest night of the year and in the midst of passing out drinks, breaking up fights, and cleaning up I saw her: Chrissy.

She looked exactly like she had since the last time I saw her, almost 4 years before. Dirty blond hair, black eyeliner, combat books, leather pants, and a matching jacket, and the way she yelled at a man at the bar to move. Yep, it was definitely Chrissy. Even after all of our years apart, I still had feelings for her and apparently she did also.

Chrissy recognized me immediately and, after all of the craziness of the night was over, she invited me over to her apartment in the city. It turns out that she really did follow her dreams, even if they didn't work out in the long haul. We genuinely enjoyed each other, but there was something telling me that I was just trying to pretend that Chrissy was Jackie. I pushed the thought off, though, and somehow, 10 months into our so-called relationship, I found out Chrissy was pregnant.

Believe me, I freaked. But I promised myself I wasn't going to let the kid grow up without a father like I had to. I knew I wouldn't be any Mr. Brady, but I promised myself I was going to be the best I could. And so, nine months later, I watched as my daughter was born. Just like that, I was responsible for someone other than myself and 10 times more than I thought I would be, because Chrissy skipped out on us as soon as she could.

Yeah, that's right; the mother of my child booked a flight to California the day she got out of the hospital. She left a small note telling me where she was going, with no explanation, and I was left to raise a daughter all on my own. I named her Amber Jacqueline. I think I'm going crazy, Amber even _looks _like Jackie.

I'm sitting in my room right now, watching Amber sleeping in her crib. It's as good a time as ever, so I pick up my phone and slowly dial the numbers that have been carved into my mind for as long as I can remember. My hand shakes as I lift the phone up to my ear and my heart leaps when someone picks up the phone. "Red?" I say, because I feel as if I'm hoping for the best and worst at the same time. "You don't remember? It's me, Steven, your son… I think it's time I come home."


	3. Maybe I'm Amazed

**Chapter Title Song: Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney**

On a typical Saturday morning, I'd wake up early with Amber, feed her and me while we watch cartoons, and then play with her until it was time for her nap. This is not a typical Saturday morning and, if I play my cards right, today could be one of the most extraordinary days of my life.

Against his wishes, John drove us to the airport, so we could make our five o'clock flight. I know it's crazy to leave that early, especially with a baby, but I've spent way too much time away from home, and the time I have is extremely crucial. I don't know what I'm going to do, what I'm going to say to make everyone understand, but I do know that I have to get Jackie back, which could be either the best or worst thing I've ever done in my life.

I mean, how am I supposed to know she didn't do something crazy like move to Greece? How do I not know she hasn't completely forgotten about me? Or the worst possible scenario: she's married to someone else.

I doubt it, though. She'd never make Kelso propose again, even if she did sex him up that night. Fez is like her twin, so if they ever happened it'd have ended quickly. Eric's not even a possibility because, even though they are friends, but say they hate each other, I can almost guarantee he and Donna are together again. She could have gotten together with some random guy, but I can help but think I left her scarred or something.

I'm hoping for the best when I return home… my _real_ home. But I still don't know what I'll arrive to. I know that so much has probably changed, not just with Jackie, but with everyone else, and I have a feeling I'll stick out like a sore thumb. I mean, walking into _Grooves_ with a diaper bag over my shoulder and a baby on my arm is not exactly a fashion statement—not that anything else we wore when we were teens was. But I always did stick out, even if I tried to hide away from the crowd. So as I step onto the plane, baby in tow, I wonder how I'll prove to Jackie just how much I've always loved her.

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

_Point Place, Wisconsin_

_July 3rd, 1982_

_7:55 AM_

_Location: Jackie and Fez's Apartment_

The alarm clock will be going off any minute, but I don't bother to try and turn it off. There's no point in it. Today will be like any other day. It's a Saturday, so Grooves won't be open. I'll straggle out of bed around nine, eat whatever food Fez puts in my hands, watch whatever he has on TV (no matter how graphic it is), and finally get myself dressed around 11:30. I'll drive to the Formans, not knowing how I got there, and sit with them for most of the day. They'll try to make me seem happy, but we all know that my smiles have to be forced. Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, and everyone will gather together to watch the fireworks and set off sparklers. I'll join in on the fun for a little while, and then retire to the basement after seeing the neighborhood kids giggle and laugh, realizing Steven will never come back so we can have kids of our own and watch them grow, giggle, and play.

The buzzer goes off and I roll over to turn it off. For some reason, I am not feeling tired and sad like I usually am when I wake up, and I manage to pull myself out of bed and walk over to my closet. I've downgraded a lot, it's something Steven always wanted me to do and, like Bob when Midge left, I immediately got rid of all of my extra clothes, hoping he would show up again. I even donated the clothing, and still that wasn't enough for him to come back.

I pick out a long purple dress, which is odd since I haven't been feeling very girly in the past few years. I do my hair up nice and put on makeup for the first time in what feels like forever; for some reason, I'm feeling really good today. Fez took an early shift at the hair salon today, so I decide to go to the Formans earlier today; Mrs. Forman always makes good breakfast.

I always take the shortest route possible to the house because the long one has too many memories… too many that are unbearable. And today I no exception, I don't need to pass by things that have the potential to make me cry.

Since I took the short route there, I arrive at the Formans much earlier than I expected and find the house empty.

_That's strange, _I think. Mrs. Forman could be at the store, but Red always refused to go with her. He wouldn't go see Eric and Donna, not this early on a Saturday. Besides, they were still up at Madison taking one final summer course; there was no way Red would up to see them.

Well, whatever. I'd just have to make my own breakfast. It wouldn't be a 3 course gourmet meal like Mrs. Forman would make, but milk and cornflakes in a bowl would be just the same.

I make myself comfortable on the couch in the living room, I prop my feet up on the coffee table. There's something about Saturdays. You know, watching _The Flintstones, The Smurfs, _and _The Jetsons, _eating breakfast in the living room. It's like being a kid again, where best friends don't betray you, where the only important things in life are watching cartoons and playing basketball, where love doesn't hurt and makes the world go 'round.

"Hey, anybody here?"

The voice stuns me so much; remnants of Corn Flakes get thrown out of the bowl and onto the carpet; it sends shivers up my spine; it brings memories back of long summer nights together with a certain person….

He appears in the doorway, carrying something—no, someone-in his arms. It's a baby… a _baby._

"Hey," he smiles and it sends shockwaves throughout my body. "I'm home."

…Steven's home. _Steven _is home.


	4. Don't Give Up On Us

**Chapter Title Song: Don't Give Up On Us by David Soul**

No Way. **.** Steven Hyde was not standing in the doorway of the Formans' living room. No, I had to be dreaming. Of course, that would explain why I didn't feel all sad and depressed, like I usually did, when I woke up that morning. It was just a dream and I'd wake up any minute…

I woke up on the floor, Steven standing over me, proof that it wasn't a dream. Unless the past few years was just a dream and I was waking up in that fateful Chicago hotel room, Steven getting ready to propose. I was wrong, like I always.

"Come on, Jacks," Steven held out his hand to me, I noticed that he wasn't holding the baby.

_Maybe __she __was just a dream._

I refused to take his hand. I got up on my own, taking a seat on the couch once more. I opened my mouth, but no words would come out. I'd spent three long years contemplating exactly what I would say, pouring out my heart to a picture of Steven, waiting for the day I could actually tell him all of the pain that he caused me. But no. None of the planning was going to help me now.

Steven rubbed his hands on his jeans and took a seat next to me; apparently he didn't know what to say either. "So..." His eyes trailed off, stopping on something in the corner of the room. "Amber Jacqueline!" he yelled. "Don't climb up there!" Steven ran to the stairs, picking up the crawling baby, carrying the laughing baby back to the couch. And, for the first time in a long time, I allowed myself to laugh.

"Mind if we sit?" Steven asked. His voice was as sweet and innocent as could be, even if he'd never been sweet and innocent his entire life. That was the thing, though. That first summer we were together, it definitely wasn't sweet and innocent, but I always thought that I made Steven just that.

"Sure," I managed to say, smiling. "Jacqueline, huh?"

The baby reached for Steven's glasses as he answered, a big smile on his face. "Yeah, she's a keeper."

"So she's yours?" I asked, a little too disappointed.

Steven sighed, picking up what I meant. "Well, me and Chrissy's, really. I met her again in New York a few months after I went there."

"Oh," I lifted up my head to meet his eyes, but quickly looked away; it was too painful. "Is _she _here with you?" I bit my tongue, realizing how harsh I sounded, but maybe it was Steven that was being harsh. Hadn't he just said that he met Chrissy right after he arrived in New York? He basically implied that he got over me in mere months!

"No," this time Steven was disappointed. "She left us once Amber was born."

We were quiet for a while, and I think we both liked it that way. But there was an elephant (more like a zoo) in the room; it was something neither of us wanted to bring up.

I took in a deep breath, preparing myself. "Steven, I-"

In his arms, Amber squirmed, itching to get out. Steven pulled her back up onto his lap. "Jackie, you don't have to say it."

"No," I told him firmly. I stood up, but suddenly all of the energy I thought I had drained away. "No. I… I can't do this."

I wanted to slap myself in the face the second I said that, and when I stormed off into the kitchen, I wanted to slap myself in the face even more.

_You've got two minutes, Jackie, _I told myself, pacing back and forth over the tiles. _Two minutes is all you need to get a hold of yourself._

But there was nothing to make me get a hold of myself of… was there?

"Oh, my God," came Mrs. Forman's voice. "Steven? Is that you?"

The tears came almost instantly. Mrs. Forman noticed that her long lost son had returned, but she'd forgotten to realize that the ex-girlfriend he left behind, who'd moped around for three years, hoping he'd come home, was left out in the cold. But she couldn't know I was listening on the other side of the door.

"Good to have you back," Red's voice, as calm as ever, came out like a whisper

"A baby? You had a baby?" Mrs. Forman's shrill voice filled the house. "I'm a grandmother?"

I made a run for the sliding door, I had to get out of there, I just _had _to. No one was going to pay attention to me, now that the golden child and his daughter were here. I felt like I was a little kid again, when I felt everything had to be about me.

The hot summer air hit my cheeks and the driveway sent memories running through my body, it was as if I was being sent back in time.

I could see everything perfectly, the way it used to be when we were teens. Eric and Donna would be sitting cross-legged on the Vista Cruiser, Donna laughing at some stupid remark he made. I know it wouldn't really have been funny, but seeing them together would have made me think that true love really existed. If I'd been with Michael at the time, we'd be leaning up against the garage, telling each other how pretty we were (well, we kind of—no, we _are_ still pretty), then we'd suddenly start making out and then run to the basement—heck, the nearest bush. If I'd been with Steven at the time… it wouldn't have mattered, he'd be playing basketball with Fez and teaching him life lessons. But I'd be there, watching in awe at just how amazing my boyfriend was.

_If only…_

From far off in the distance a bird chirped, bringing me back into reality. A reality I didn't want to be in and _always_ tried to get out of.

I decided to take a walk; I needed to clear my thoughts. I had to make Steven know that just because he came back, it didn't mean I was just going to forget everything that had happened in the past years. There was only one problem, though, I didn't know how to tell him.

But maybe doing just that was going to be what I had to do, maybe starting up where we left off was the best idea. Maybe it wasn't, though. Starting up where we left off would mean we would still have to consider what Michael was doing in my hotel room. Steven wouldn't listen to me, he wouldn't _want_ to. Even if he did pay attention, he wouldn't really _listen_ to me.

_Scratch that, _I though. It was probably best that I concentrated on what was happening at that moment.

Sighing, I headed out toward the street, looking around me for entertainment. On my right, a group of kids, about 10 or 11, played baseball in one of the nicely trimmed front yards, young girls gawked at them from across the street.

_They don't know what they're in for._

Further down, a teenage boy with an afro held hands with a curly, dark-haired girl.

_Steven and I._

An image flashed in my mind of Steven when we started dating. Of his afro, his aviator glasses, his beard I made him shave, all of the things I'd first fallen in love with.

Steven still had his glasses, but you could see in his eyes how much he'd grown and changed. The free-spirited, midnight toker I once knew was replaced with a father on a mission to find love again… with me.

"Hey, mister, could you throw us the ball?"

I groaned. Did someone just call me _mister?_

"Sure."

This time, the voice was deeper. It seemed more experienced, more mature.

The voice was Steven's.


	5. Where Did Our Love Go

**Chapter Title Song: Where Did Our Love Go by The Supremes**

**Other Songs in this Chapter: Bette Davis Eyes by Donna Weiss**

_Crap. _That was all that came to mind. What was I supposed to say to her? Was there even anything really to say? Should we pretend like nothing ever happened? No, we couldn't. Amber would always be there as a constant reminder, the only good thing to come out of my three year absence. Should I just come right out and tell her I didn't mean to leave her?

Yeah, like _that _was going to go well.

"It was my fault," Jackie's voice was almost a whisper, but it seemed to start an earthquake underneath me.

_Did Jackie Burkhart just say she was at fault for something?_ I couldn't believe it!

Though the sun was beating down hard and the street was noisy, Jackie took a seat down on the sidewalk. Tears trickled down her face, collecting on the sizzling concrete before she finally wiped them away. Her curled hair fell down her arms as beautifully as she was… the way she'd always been.

"It was _all _my fault," Jackie whimpered, sounding much like a little child.

I looked down at her, sighing. "No, it's—"

"Don't Steven! Just don't!" she wailed, not even looking at me. The boys playing baseball and the girls watching them turned their attention to us, probably wanting to know what I did so bad to the girl to have her yell like that, before finally turning back to their game when I gave them the evil scare.

"But Jackie…" I trailed off, trying to think of what to say. I took a seat next to the girl I once thought I knew so much about, but now I was starting to think I never really knew her at all. "It's not even close to being close to being your fault… I know that now." I smirked, "And maybe a little… _a lot _on Kelso's part."

Jackie pushed her hair out of her face and jumped up. "Yeah, you're right, Steven," she said, all too calmly. "Yeah," she spoke to the air, then turning to me, her face now red with anger. "It's entirely _your _fault. Everything. If you had just agreed to marry me when I asked you, we wouldn't have any of the problems we do. If you had just agreed, you wouldn't have had to come to that hotel and Michael wouldn't have had to be there!" Now Jackie was looking down at me, her perfectly manicured hands placed defiantly, just-so on her hips, her lips slightly puckered. She was beautiful, even now that she was angry.

I just had to ruin the moment.

"You know what?" I stood up next to her tiny, frail body. "I might have done something to hurt you, but it was even worse when I found out you were shacking up with Kelso."

Jackie swallowed hard and her eyes, starting to fill with tears (which she had no intention in hiding this time), flashed memories back at me; memories of long, hot summer nights that brought us together so long ago. It killed me inside to see her that way, I just wanted to pull her into a hug, rock her back and forth, kiss her forehead, and tell her everything was going to be okay—the same thing I'd do when Amber fell over and got hurt. But I had to hold my own; I had to keep my Zen… just for a little while longer anyway.

"I WASN'T GOING TO SLEEP WITH HIM!" she shrieked and turned on her feet. For a second, I thought she was going to crumble right there, melt into little tiny pieces, but I was soon watching as she broke into a run down the street.

And, boy, can that girl run.

Running off her problems wasn't going to solve anything. Because, knowing her, the only place she'd be smart enough to run to would be the Formans—what with Eric and Donna living in New York and Kelso and Fez who knows where—and, if they weren't gawking over the baby, they'd be interrogating her about why she was crying, where I was. Sooner or later we were going to have to face our problems, and so I decided to go after her.

And, boy, can _I _run.

I felt like a little kid again, running down the all-too familiar streets where Eric, Donna, Kelso, and I would spend countless hours having races, play basketball, and have Hide and Seek competitions with the neighbors. I felt like I had all the power in the world, running back to the girl I had… am so deeply in love with.

It didn't take long for me to catch up with her. Sure, Jackie could run, but I knew she was going slower than usual so I wouldn't be too far behind from her. She seemed more like a kid now than ever, standing there on the corner. I slowed into a walk, creeping my way up behind her, starting to regret ever coming back. As I got closer, the sound of her sobs became more apparent, they hurt me incredibly.

"Jackie," I said as quietly as possible, but just loud enough for her to her.

She slowly turned around, her tear streaked face red with anger, her eyes filled with pain, her hair matted from the heat, her lips quivered as she looked to my face.

And then, suddenly, a glimmer of hope.

Forgetting all of our problems, for getting the past neither of us wanted to remember, Jackie ran to me, falling into my arms. I held her close, kissed the top of her hot head.

Ha, see what I did there?

Holding her that close to me, I could practically feel her heart beat on my chest. It was as if she were telling me that she was sorry. But I'd learned a long time before, by a certain man named Red Forman, that sometimes it's the man who has to say he's sorry first, even if he hadn't done anything.

"I'm sorry, Jackie," I said into her ear. "I'm sorry for everything."

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

Jackie twirled the straw in her milkshake, staring down the whole time. She hadn't dared to look at me since she tried to sneak a peek in the car and when my eyes caught hers she blushed and turned the other way. If only there was a way to get her to lighten up…

"You know," I started. "I'm not a pedophile, I'm not going to buy you food and then kidnap and rape you."

Jackie laughed a bit, but she stiffened and still didn't dare to look up. I probably scared her more than make her laugh.

Let me tell you, awkward silence is a bitch.

"So…" I trailed off, looking around the deserted Dairy Queen for something to make a joke on, one that _wouldn't _freak her out this time. The only thing good that I could find was a young teenager passed out behind the counter and just as I was about to make a joke about Leo sleeping less on the job than the teen….

Jackie's eyes lit up as a new song started to play on the radio. She lifted them up to meet mine and then quickly went back to her milkshake.

"You like this song?" I half snorted, standing up. "So you're forgetting ABBA and going to Kim Carnes now?"

"I love this song," Jackie corrected, looking up to find me standing above her; she was even more shocked when I pulled her up with me and forced her to dance, right in the middle of a Dairy Queen.

"_Her hair is Harlow gold,  
>Her lips sweet surprise<br>Her hands are never cold  
>She's got Bette Davis eyes<br>She'll turn her music on  
>You won't have to think twice<br>She's pure as New York snow  
>She got Bette Davis eyes"<em>

I laughed, which brought the biggest smile to Jackie's face. I'd seen New York snow, and it wasn't exactly the white you'd contribute to purity… and Jackie wasn't either. I laughed again at the thought and Jackie rested her head on my shoulder, she really must have missed me more than I thought.

"_And she'll tease you  
>She'll unease you<br>All the better just to please you  
>She's precocious<br>And she knows just what it  
>Takes to make a pro blush<br>She got Greta Garbo standoff sighs,  
>She's got Bette Davis eyes"<em>

"By the way," Jackie retorted. "I'm never going to forget ABBA."

Much too soon the song ended, but we still stood where we were, dancing. Well, until the cashier spoke out. "You know," he said, stepping out from behind the counter to sweep the floor, "This isn't your wedding."

Jackie let go of me faster than I had time to realize what the teenager was saying. "You know," she told the boy, "We're not getting married any time soon." She turned to me, "We should go, everyone's probably wondering where we are."

I swear to God, as we walked out of the restaurant, she whispered, "We're not even dating… yet."


	6. When a Man Loves a Woman

**Chapter Title Song: When a Man Loves a Woman by Percy Sledge**

There's something about summer, it's hard to describe, but you know what it is. Maybe it's the way that first stream of sunlight bursts through your windows early in the morning (on the days that you're actually _happy _to wake up early). Maybe it's the sounds of ids running down the street from house to house, calling to start the day's events without a care in the world. Maybe it's the relief of the late night breeze that comes to end a day of fun while the rambunctious kids quiet down the catch the buzzing lightning bugs. Whatever it is, the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches of summer always bring back memories of being young.

Memories of forbidden loves that bloomed with each coming day.

And now, sitting in the front seat of the El Camino with some trashy rock and roll song blasting and Steven driving ahead, memories keep flooding my head, some that make me smile, and some I just want to forget about.

The El Camino isn't anything like I remember. The backseat, once a garbage disposal for anything and everything, now has a dark purple car seat and around it is laden all sorts of toys, pacifiers, and books. The glove department no longer contains a special stash for special occasions only, but is used as a holding place for baby bottles and diapers. Stuffed animals are stored in every available place. The former chick magnet is now a baby cave.

"You can't avoid me forever," Steven points out as we tear down the street.

I think about rolling my eyes but don't, instead I turn them towards the window, the summer scenery passing behind us. I assume we're driving back to the Formans, but Steven could drive me to Canada and I could care less. Nothing seems to have any meaning in my life anymore.

"Don't ignore me," Steven commands. "It's only going to get you nowhere."

I push his comment off with a wave of my hand, turning my back away from him. "I'm not avoiding you. I'm just choosing not to talk to you."

Steven smirks and I catch on quickly. "Seems like you're talking to me now."

I sigh with a shake of my head. "I don't have anything to say to you, okay?" I turn back to him. "And if you're going to start saying how New York has changed you and that you just want me back—don't. It's not that simple, you know it's not."

"I know, Jacks. If you tell me that you weren't going to sleep with Kelso I'll believe you. Let's start from their and then we'll start to settle this whole thing."

The world around me becomes silent when Steven drops the bombshell I was hoping to forget. I take a deep breath as I lower my head into my lap to try and think this through. I _know _I wasn't going to sleep with Michael… at least, I think. Because now, almost three years since that night, I'm starting to think that I might have made Michael do more than just spend the night, probably because I'd know that at least one person would need me, would _want _me.

Why, oh, why did he have to bring it up again?

Steven pulls off to the side of the road and stops the car. He's quiet and I can tell he's trying to figure out what to do. I wonder if he's going to let me stay as I am until I start crying, then do nothing about it. But as tough as he appears, seeing me cry always hurt him more than anything.

He brushes away my dark curls from my face and turns my head to look up at me. "Forget it," he calmly says. "It's over now, let's forget about it."

I smile and say nothing except turn my gaze back out the window, I still can't find it in me to look at Steven. As much as I want to be with him, I can't forget everything we've already been through.

We're parked at the top of an old ravine, hidden behind mounds of trees. This place has seen lovers way before we discovered this place so long ago. I can remember the times we'd camp out here (yeah, I know, I went camping!), Steven and I. He'd make a fire and we'd snuggle deep in our pillow cases and talk for hours on end until the light of dawn broke out. That first summer alone I can remember every time we went, everything that went on, everything that we said.

"Do you trust me?"

I'm so busy daydreaming that I don't notice that Steven got out of the car, that he's rolled down my window and has been standing next to me, talking while I don't listen.

"What?" I finally get out, lifting my head.

Steven rolls his eyes and laughs, _typical Jackie_, he's probably thinking. "I said that I think it would be cool if we go and walk around here like we used to."

"Oh," I turn my gaze past him, to the river at the bottom where we'd spend long summer nights walking, talking. "Yeah, sure," I finally say. I swing my legs out, standing up next to him.

Steven nods toward the hill leading own toward the river and I follow him as he walks. He's perfect, I decide. The way he walks without a care in the world, how he holds himself up high when he knows things are just going to get worse instead of better like he wishes they would. I wonder how good of a father he is, if Amber is his pride and joy, the thing that kept him going when he was miles away from home.

Somehow, I form a picture in my head of Christmas day so many years in the future. While snow piles up outside, Amber and two other little girls rush down the stairs to our living room while Steven and I follow close behind. I can see their faces as they open up gift after gift. I see them all running to hug us after each and every gift they open; I see Amber calling me "Mom", I'd probably be the only mom she'd ever know.

And now, for the first time since that fateful day, I'm starting to wonder if he ever really thought of me at all.

"Jackie, you coming or what?"

Day dreaming does wonders to a 21 year old, anyone, for that matter. I could never escape reality when Steven was gone, and now that he's here my mind never seems to want to escape oblivion! Steven has already descended down the hill and is now turning around, waiting for me to come down with me.

_Typical Jackie._

"Do you trust me?" he repeats, climbing back up and outstretching his hand.

I cross my arms and plant my feet firm in the ground. (_Typical Jackie.) _"Yeah, but—"

Steven inches closer to me. "Then come on. What's there to be scared of?"

"Just don't, Steven!" I half yell as I push away his hand. When I say it, I realize just how harsh I'm being. Hadn't I wished everyday he was in New York to just spend a minute with Steven? Now, here we were, Steven trying to do a semi-romantic gesture and I didn't want anything to do with it.

There's pain in his face, I can tell, but this was from any other pain he'd experienced in his life, his childhood, and he still advances toward me. "Jackie," he stars, once more trying to coax me with his words that are too soothing, especially for him.

This time, when I push Steven away again and step back, he instantly manages to grab my arm, pulling me forward. He misses his footing and suddenly we're rolling down the hill, towards the bottom of the ravine, towards the roots of our problems. When we reach the bottom, Steven is miraculously right above me, staring down at my face filled with distress, with anger, seeking revenge.

_Typical Jackie._

He kisses me ever so gently, the misery of the past three years floating away down the mysterious lake.

Steven loves me, I can be sure of that now.


	7. Crazy Little Thing Called Love

**A/N: I promised a new chapter and here it is. So like some of the earlier chapters, this one switches from Jackie's POV to Hyde's POV once the "**_**~~~ . . . ~~~"**_** shows up. (And did anyone else hear there might possibly be a "That '70s Movie" in the future?"  
><strong>

**Chapter Title Song: Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen**

I woke up the next morning sprawled out on the Formans' living room couch, still wearing my dress from the day before. The smell of waffles coated with layers of butter and maple syrup floated in from the kitchen—Mrs. Forman's "Welcome Home" breakfast. I immediately smiled before opening my eyes; just knowing that Steven was home and rooms away made me feel overjoyed.

_Home. _The tiny apartment I shared with Fez definitely wasn't home. This was home, at the Formans' house. I'd practically been raised there; there wasn't a day in my teenager years that went by that I didn't long to be sitting on the basement couch—with Michael or Steven, of course; this was where Steven and I should be bringing _our _kids to play also. _Home._

Speaking of…

"Hey, Amber," Steven whispered to the child he carried on his arm in from the den. "Look who finally decided to wake up"

"Very funny, Steven," I said, sitting up. "I bet my bed hair makes me look absolutely fabulous."

Steven sat down next to me on the couch and brushed a way a tangled curl from my face. "You always look pretty."

Just as I think he's going to go in for a kiss, Red pushed open the kitchen door. "Steven, I… ugh, I need you in here." He closed the door as Steven turned to me.

"Here, take her," Steven told me as he stood up, holding out Amber to me.

"No," I was quick to object. "I'm horrible with kids."

"Amber's chill," he countered me. (Yeah, he just regarded his kid as "chill".) "You'll be fine." He placed her on my lap and walked through the door with the swagger of his that I'd always admired.

I turned the baby around so she was facing me. She looked so much like Steven, even though he'd just told me the night before how similar he thinks we look. But I wasn't even her biological mother, or her mother in any form, for that matter. Amber had his blue eyes, his light brown hair, his pink lips, and his tiny clef chin. She was even wearing a shirt with a Led Zeppelin sticker on it. Yes, she definitely was his child.

I wrinkled my nose at the outfit anyway. "I'm going to have to bring you shopping for _girl_ clothes, aren't I?"

The baby slightly sighed and then rested her head on my chest; it was her way of agreeing with me.

Steven pushed through the kitchen door and folded his arms. "It looks like she likes you."

Once again he took a seat next to me and I smiled first at Amber and then at my ex, I guess I wasn't as bad with kids as I thought. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said. "You know, it's her birthday today."

My smile grew, spreading across my face, as I realized what it meant—to me, anyway. "Then I really should go shopping for her."

Steven and I lock eyes before he turns away, gets up again, and circles the couch, returning back in front of me. "She'd like that—it'll be better than the clothes I put on her."

I laughed. "You're giving me permission to dress your daughter in frilly, pink tutus and dresses?"

"If that's what you want to dress her in." Steven peered through his glasses, taking me in, and I think I'm hypnotized. "We need to go somewhere."

I tightened my grip on Amber as she tried to squirm out of my arms. What did he mean we had to go _somewhere?_ If he had to talk about something, why not do it here? It wasn't like Amber was going to tell anyone. "What do you mean?"

"Grooves, I want to see the old place."

"Grooves?" My eyes bugged out. He had just shown up yesterday after three years away and never once had he bothered to ask what Eric, Donna, Fez, or Michael were up to and now he wanted to go to _Grooves? _And it was closed on weekends, too. Sure, that was his old workplace, but why _there_? "Don't you want to—"

"Come on, Jackie, please."

It was his blue eyes that lured me into it. "Okay, fine."

Steven flashed a smile and took Amber from me. He headed towards the kitchen door and, with one hand pushing it open, he turned back to me. "Aren't you coming?"

I looked around the room, thinking he was talking to some imaginary person next to me. "We're going now?"

Steven rolled his eyes at me. _Typical Jackie. _"Yeah, we've got nothing better to do."

I stood up and walked toward him, making a big emphasis on flaunting whatever I had. "I'm still wearing the same dress from yesterday."

He quickly looked me over, from head to two. "So? No one's going to notice you anyway, no one's at Grooves." He thought about it, then added, "You look great anyway."

Mrs. Forman looked at us with a smile as she mixed some chocolate batter in a mixing bowl. "I was going to make a cake for the Fourth of July party anyway tonight, and when I found out it was Amber's birthday, I just had to make a birthday cake."

"Oh, thanks," Steven hugged her with his free arm and continued walking to the door.

"Where are you going?" Red folded his newspaper carefully, evenly, the way he always did when he intended to talk to one of us about something—usually something we didn't want to talk about.

"Jackie and I were just going out for a while." Steven pleaded with his eyes for me to follow him out the door—I could tell he was already tired of catching up with the Formans about his adventures in the past few years. "Right?"

"Yes!" I eagerly agreed and hurried over to him. "We won't take long, I promise."

Red laughed. "You two can go do whatever you want, as long as you," he pointed at Steven, "don't leave town again."

"Of course not… sir." I could tell he added the last part for good measure.

Everything was perfect again—Steven was home and proceeding with caution with all of his actions, Mrs. Forman was cooking, Red was in his usual Sunday morning spot, and I was more alive than ever. This was what love was—here in the kitchen, in the kitchen at home, at home with the only family I ever truly knew.

_**~~~ . . . ~~~**_

I was expecting Grooves to be one of two things: a lacy, pink and white women's fortress with Peter Frampton and ABBA records only or completely abandoned with broken windows, ripped up furniture, packs of rats, and stolen merchandise. I'm not sure which one I'd rather have had. But Grooves wasn't anything like that, not at all. It was nearly the same as I'd left it.

Jackie had left it that way for me.

I could tell by her reaction that she was thrilled I liked what she'd done—well, _hadn't_ done—with the place. I put Amber down on the ground and let her discover the place for herself at first. I looked around the room; I'd forgotten how much I'd missed the place. "Thank you, Jackie," I told her—it was all I could think of to tell her. "Thanks for taking care of the place for me."

"I knew it meant something to you, Steven," Jackie replied. "So I made it mean something to me, too."

I shook my head at her comments. "Stop being so serious, Jacks." Spotting Amber nearly pulling a carton of The Who records onto the floor and onto her tiny body, I quickly ran over to her, swooped her up into my arms, and carried her back over to where Jackie still stood. More to Jackie than to my daughter, I said, "You know, this place has a lot of memories."

Jackie nodded in agreement, in remembrance.

I continued, this time talking straight to Amber. "We may not have spent all of our time here as teenagers, but it was special… Daddy learned to grow up working here."

Though I wasn't exactly looking her way, I could tell Jackie was smiling—and trying to hide it—behind me. Referring to myself in the third person to my daughter... it was probably such a _daddy_ thing to do.

I walked over to the arm chair and took a seat, Jackie taking the lead. I spoke directly to her this time: "Maybe if you—and me—talk to her, she'll finally say her first word."

"She hasn't said anything yet?" (I guess it was too hard for her to understand.)

I pried Amber's tiny fingers from my hair and held them down to prevent her from doing it again. "No. Well, not everyone can be a chatterbox like you at one."

Shyly, Jackie tucked a piece of hair behind her hair and crossed her legs. "So what are you teaching her how to say?"

This time it was my turn to look down at my feet and shyly try to hide an emerging grin. "Dad—like every father in the world… except I don't have a women trying to get Amber to say 'mom' before 'dad'."

Jackie could sense the tension in my voice, the sadness. Awkwardly, she reached over and patted me on the back. "Steven, it's okay."

I quickly bolted out of my feelings. _Remember, be Zen. Jackie can't know why you're _really_ here._

"Should we start?"

For the first time since I arrived back home I looked at her, _really_ looked at her. I missed her (I was admitting it). She was beautiful (I was admitting it). I needed her (I was admitting it).

I loved her (I was admitting it).

**A/N2: As much as I hate to say this… I think I'm going to have to part ways with fan fiction (but only for a little while), mainly just this story. I've found it increasingly hard to get inspiration and it's disappointing me. I have so many ideas for the future—for this story, for my That '80s Beginning series, and for so many more ideas I've had for almost a year. I just don't have as much time to update as often as I wish I could… not to mention the fact that I haven't watched That '70s Show as much as I used to (I've fallen in love with Boy Meets World—it's an addiction now).**


End file.
